Confidence is an incredibly important trait to have and it’s something some people come by more naturally than others. However, even the most unassertive person can learn to appear sure of themselves. In this article we’re talking about some of the most common reasons you might have trouble acting with conviction. You’ll gain the tools to be more self-assured in your everyday life and live full out with confidence and courage!
Perhaps the biggest reason that you feel unsure of your actions is that your environment or the people around you are bringing you down. Maybe your friends make fun of you all the time, and it hurts, even if they say they’re just kidding. You might go online and see others posting about all the great things they’ve accomplished and feel disappointed in your comparative lack of achievements. Perhaps advertisements on TV or the Internet cause you to be self-conscious about your body, social status, intelligence level, or anything else. Our surroundings can have a huge impact on our mental state, so by being immersed in negativity, you prime yourself for low self-confidence.

Luckily, in most cases, you can choose the kinds of messages you receive. For example, you might fill your social circles with positive people and let go of those who make you feel worthless—even if they are your immediate family members. Remember that you deserve to be happy and supported by those around you. In addition to cutting out unhealthy relationships, start practicing self-care. By taking care of your body’s needs through healthy eating, exercise, and good hygiene, you will start to feel better physically and that will transfer to the way you feel about yourself overall.

As for the digital world and all the toxic messages we get from social media, movies, and TV shows, you can combat them by taking care of your physical health, but also by paying attention to your internal well-being. Try writing down several traits that you like about yourself and repeating them at least once a day, or whenever you feel down. By being regularly reminded of your own worth, you will get a boost of confidence to guide you through the hard days. However, there may be times where the negativity of the Internet gets you down in spite of these efforts. In those cases, it is a good idea to do a social media detox. Delete the apps from your phone, block the websites on your computer, and take a break. Make time to just be who you are without the world’s opinions butting in. Then, when you’re ready, you can redownload the apps and start using the websites again. Sometimes separation is what you truly need to understand a problem’s impact on your life.

Another reason you may be struggling to have faith in your self-worth is misinformation. There are two main myths you may be buying into on this front. One is the idea that in order to act confidently, you need to truly feel certain of all your actions, and the other is that you need to know everything before you make a move. Yes, the goal is for you to truly be sure of yourself, but that takes time. The saying, “fake it till you make it” really works and is particularly applicable here. If you pretend you know what you’re doing, others will trust you, and if you keep it up, you’ll eventually discover that you’ve started believing in yourself, too. As for the second myth, it’s impossible to know everything before you start a new situation. Even people who have been working the same job their whole career may be unaware of all the company’s policies. Obviously, it’s a bad idea to jump into the unknown without any kind of plan, but if you try to know everything before you begin, you will fail to ever start.

To help you disprove these lies, ask trusted others for advice. Chances are, they will say they built their self-reliance through practice. Some people are naturally more confident than others, but most of us will have to practice and pretend for a while before we really start to believe in ourselves.

Another way to help you feel more confident is to remind yourself that it is okay to be wrong. Knowing everything is impossible, and so is being perfect. Self-assurance is about being as prepared as you can be, but still ready to adapt to unforeseen obstacles. You may be afraid to admit when you mess up, thinking that those around you will lose trust in you, but in reality, they’re likely to admire you. It takes a lot of courage to confess when you’ve made a mistake, and by doing so, you will gain respect from the people around you and, more importantly, will feel better about yourself. You are human, so you will slip up occasionally, but you can maintain your confidence by learning to accept that and move on.

By creating a positive real-life and online environment for yourself and working through some big misconceptions, you can become bolder in your everyday life. If you would like more tips on how to be confident, you can listen to our radio show titled “Discover How You Can Harness the Confidence to Live Full Out”. Remember that you are worthy and let your light shine through in your actions as you live full out.

Contributing Author: Ariel Zinkan