Do you have concerns about managing disagreements in your life? Maybe you know a person who you are having problems with that you dread seeing at social events. You turn to your friends who give you advice. Unfortunately, few solutions are offered, causing you to be frustrated and irritable. Perhaps you could be anxious that a verbal war may break out between you and this individual. Hang in there. If you have been wondering how to diffuse an argument, here are examples of common issues in conflict resolution.

One of the most common problems in handling conflict is finding the most effective way to express yourself. There could be a situation where your friend borrows an item of yours and returns it damaged. You might bite your tongue about saying how you feel in front of other people. You want to consider sharing your feelings with the other person depending on their communication style. It could be face to face, a written note
or email, or even a phone text.

If your friend is in denial, you may find yourself festering about this disagreement and being held back completely. What you can do is write in a private journal about how you feel and get everything down on paper you want to say. You want to jot down your thoughts and emotions that irritate you. You can either choose if you give this note to the person and communicate your perspective, or toss it out, as the act of writing it will have released
much needed tension.

It could be that you feel the need to have the last word in an argument. Do you think you have to be right all the time? If your friend calls you out for a mistake you made you might want to prove that you did nothing wrong. For example, you could be accused of making a mess in the kitchen. You internally realize that if you admit your wrongdoing, it could be a trap. Just state your position on what happened and let it go at that.

Another problem in conflict management is how well you use “I” statements in a heated argument. Your response can significantly increase or decrease the intensity of a problem. Be sure to talk in a more neutral way beginning your sentences with “I think” or “In my opinion.” By focusing on yourself instead of the other person, you can avoid blaming
others and work to resolve the issue.

You can become an expert in managing an argument. Rather than letting someone get under your skin and ruin your day, you can have a different reaction. To hear Nancy Solari’s tips on how to manage conflict go to http://livingfullout.com/radio-show/ and find the radio show titled “Discover How You Can Manage Conflict in Your Life as you Live Full Out.” By choosing to resolve your issues rather than having a personal disagreement with someone else, you’ll be on your way to living full out.

Raj Persad – Contributing Author